


Operation Free The Blackwings

by kilgore_trout



Category: Dirk Gently - Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: One Shot, Pararibulitis (Dirk Gently), Project Blackwing (Dirk Gently), Random & Short, Short Story, a little bit graphic but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-11 19:04:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19933009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kilgore_trout/pseuds/kilgore_trout
Summary: In which Dirk and Todd break into Blackwing to free Bart and Ken, encounter a fence, and don't actually manage to save any Blackwings.





	Operation Free The Blackwings

It was probably Dirk getting caught on the barbed wire fence that triggered it. He didn't even feel the attack coming on like he usually did. Pararibulitus attacks were hard to miss. The feeling they gave him was comparable to a tea kettle about to boil over, or a flame slowly wearing down the fuse of a stick of dynamite. He almost always felt the attack before it boiled over or blew up. But he was too distracted this time.

  
"Todd! Stop! I'm stuck!" Came Dirk's out of breath cries for help.

  
Todd stopped running and turned towards the sound. His brightly clad friend, donning his favorite mustard yellow jacket, was perched atop the fence like a bird. The wire was wrapped around his left wrist and stopped the detective from simply hopping over the fence like Todd had. He'd jumped the six foot fence with little trouble at all. He was, after all, the least clumsy of the pair.

  
He ran back to Dirk. "Can't you... pull yourself free? Take the jacket off!" Todd said. He was getting anxious. They were wasting precious time.  
"You really think I haven't thought of that?" Dirk whined, pointing to his arm. The wire had grabbed onto Dirk's wrist and didn't seem to be letting go. Blood dripped from Dirk's hand and onto Todd's arm as he reached up to pull him free.

  
Todd stared at his arm, eyes wide. From the drop of blood grew a thin, metal wire, badly rusted. It slid up his arm like a snake, coiling around and getting tighter with each turn. He closed his eyes and willed it to go away.

  
"Hello? Ground control to major Todd!" Dirk laughed nervously at his own joke. "I think if I can manage to slip my arm through, I can... Oh, god. Not now."

  
Todd pulled at the phantom wire as it slithered up to his shoulder, trying to stop it before it reached his neck. He couldn't black out now and leave Dirk to deal with his predicament by himself. He was vaguely aware of his partner shouting, the rattling of the chain link as Dirk tried to free himself, and the far off sirens alerting the officials inside of their presence. The rattling became more frantic, but Todd could barely hear it.

  
Todd stumbled back and wrapped his hands around his neck to save himself, but it was no use. The rusty wire slipped under his hands and dug into his neck. He sputtered and coughed and spat blood onto the sun bleached grass at his feet. His vision began to get cloudy. Todd scratched at the wire to pull it lose, but it just cut his hands up. His fingernails cracked and bled. He dropped to his knees and gasped for air.

  
"Todd! You can't do this now! Please!" Dirk's voice was fading.

  
Todd tried to free himself, but the wires were too tight. He fell onto his side and cried out in pain and frustration. He screwed his eyes shut and the sounds around him faded.

Todd felt the hot concrete beneath his back before he felt Dirk's hands shaking him. "Todd? Oh, come on. We have to go!"

  
He opened his eyes to a familiar face leaning over him and blocking out the sun.

  
"Dirk," He groaned, getting free from the detective's grip. "Where... are we?" He asked.

  
"Blackwing. The mission, remember? Operation Free The Blackwings? Farah wanted to call it 'Free The Freaks', but you said that was insulting and--" He was cut off by Todd's hand covering his mouth.

  
"Please go easy on me, Dirk." Only now did Todd realize the detective wasn't wearing his jacket. He'd ripped part of his shirt sleeve getting free and the barbed wire had left a couple gashes in his forearm. Dirk barely took notice.

"Sorry. You just freaked out back there. And I was a bit stuck for a while, Todd. I had to leave my jacket! You know that one's my favorite. Anyway, now..." Dirk continued talking, but Todd blocked it out. When his friend grabbed his hands to help him up, he recoiled and sat up on his elbows.

  
"No touching. Right. Sorry." Dirk frowned and got up. They were in the back of Blackwing's headquarters. Shouts from agents searching for them sounded from not too far away. At least that damned siren had stopped.

  
"It's okay. I'm good." Todd pushed himself to his feet and looked around.

  
"I hope whatever was attacking you back there has retreated into your subconscious by now." Dirk was doing that awkward thing with his hands that he did when he wanted to be comforting but was afraid of setting Todd off.

  
"It has. Time for phase two - infiltrate the building. Then we split up."

  
"I really don't like that bit about splitting up," Dirk said. His hands found their way into his pockets for a few seconds, then they were out again.

  
"Well, it's too bad. This plan only works if we split up. Now, come on." Todd didn't feel so hypersensitive anymore, so he took Dirk's hand and they took off towards Blackwing's back entrance.

  
"I sure hope phase three is getting my jacket back!"

  
Todd laughed at that, happy to not feel wires choking him. "Well... Maybe phase four... or five... or six."

  
Dirk laughed, too, then straightened up and dropped Todd's hand. They pushed the doors open and stormed inside.

**Author's Note:**

> Possible follow up in the works


End file.
